worst

I'm the worst one.
I could never leave u sad, but all i know abt me i'm not good girl
and i'll feel sorry abt myself all the time at breathing
while im alive i'll feel wickedness around me, talking me to act as I have to, not as I wanna do . .
sometimes to say the truth I feel pleaseure to act as a worst one .
i'm a druger and donno so much what I'm saying by this time
Can't express things how I feel in words .
my face will say the opposite about me.

Bipolar love

Really.. I don't care about you. no more!
I'm leaving this relation. i'm going because it's late.
I'm going now because I know i'll go later, in the same way.
if it will happen.. i prefer to do now.
before i break my heart.. if it didn't already happen.
I love you, but i could never love some one because love and hate walk side by side.
I could never hurt you. i could be the best one .
but ........For you, i know i'm nothing but an other girl!
and you are just a line on all my love letters
uhum,. I breath love all the time.
Love and hate walk side by side, i could never love again.
no. never more! no more, no never..
i couldn't love even me if you passed by my life.
You're my only love, and i'm an other girl like a cloud.
but you should know, not a colorful one,... i'm in storm now!
we've got a bipolar love.

(Raisa Huang)

Letter for my (e)x-man

I know that we're not working out together. not anymore;
I look interesting at the beginning (I guess)..
but the truth. when someone knows me and see
my worst state, know that I'm normal. and like everyone else.
the same neuroses and hassle.
I think I am very needy also, and just ask for more
than they can give me ..  I took from them  the maximum.
I want attention 26 hours per day, even i pretend I don't .
I like you so much I could wait for your time.
but I have always been against this kind of 'time' ..
I feel kind of rejected, and I think you do not show more interest in me.
this is bad. you do not want to be close.
maybe you even need some time just for you. ...
looks intense, but I do not want you in half or when you want
or when you're free.
I want now and fast. and everything. as possible.
and if I'm not having in that way (my way). I'd rather not have anything.
you only had curiosity on me,
wanted to know, experience.
maybe attraction .. it happens, it is normal!
could be also a lot of admiration for women.
I was happy with you

but we can not postpone a thing that we know will happen.
for our own faults.. our relationship got fail!
I tried, but I think you do not hell cares much for that ...
understand. we have other priorities!

(Raisa Huang)

existentialism, very normal crisis!

Existential crisis. existentialism.
need to remind my friends of my existence.


I feel very rejected

good night,
I think I'm sleeping
my sleep, my guardian angel is absent.
makes me look oFF]

ooh, but when I feel so ...
they are missing. yes
yes, they really miss!
is kind of boring to talk alone, they at least listened to me attentively.
So I'm talking to you!
is a hint.
it's nothing special!
is a period in which women feel emotional, needy, rejected, inefficient and terribly ugly. mainly fat, while depressed.
'm a horrible appearance. anything healthy.
I have commitment.
then tell you.
I can not talk because I'm afraid of paparazzi that appears to surprise.
I will travel to Port Prince and kiss some frogs.
enjoying the evening, kiss #callme

(Raisa Huang)

Across the blue

And I say I'm so lost
Daddy knows I always preffered him
God felt this
Even all the times I told I don't.
or when I told he was boring
Just for mom doesn't feel under
Now I regret
and I'll live my whole life regretting that I'll never show it.
I feel sorry that I cannot say how much I love him and how much important he was for me
Mom, I blame you.
I'm trying to be everything she is not
But God knows I love her
I'm sure we cannot keep a good relation
I'm not ready to try and change my mind
I don't forget the things i think about her
It's about myself, my history, my past
Even you try and hold me back
here's nothing you can gain from me
Sometimes I feel happy and other times I don't
I know I should go out and set me free from these stuffs but i can't
I've build a wall around me
everything you more wait from who you love, it's protection
She disappointed me many times

I keep in trying.. to be any one else to forget from where I've came
Now Daddy's gonna far away
and i wonder how much good it could be if he was here near me
I use to lie about my feelings
But it's not good to lose and pretend.
I'm just over pissed off and self hopeless
Blue skies, but the night is not ended
I think I should go and take some rest from world outside
They've got my innocence
I'm not anymore this sweet one
I was just happy, me and my own life
I'm lost between my sins, I cannot avoid at doing bad things
God knows I'm not a bad girl
But the past made me unkind and down
I don't believe in a fairytale end

(Raisa Huang)

stay, stay, stay at home

Sleep to forget. . I no longer know anything about you!
tend your garden, I buried it all I had to give you. ..
and the flowers will grow more beautiful in the summer if I can come back.
But the rain comes. .
so the rain comes to wash, and the wind to take what's left.
and if the cold is alive and constant. is for you do not forget that left me free
yes, very loose.
free to fly high, no one to take.
Do not look for me if I get lost out there, you will not find me.
and I'm not gonna look anywhere besides inside me.

(Raisa Huang)

Passion

No quiero que usted vuelvas a mí
Yo prefiero que tu se quede
No salir de mi vida
Te necesito a mi lado

(Raisa Huang)

about me

Yo soy una persona normal -n

Soy una rareza -s

cada día yo utiliza una mascarilla

diferente, depende de tu gusto .

¿Como te gusta ? +.+

(Raisa Huang)

Escalator love

My life is like a escalator with a invisible and touchable interruptor.
Please, don't try to take me off .
Everything I do, I remember you.
Every place I go, I take you with me.
Now I'm in the bus gonna back home, I had never repaired these places
and now it seems so colorful and interesting .
I'm curious about how things will move on, how little birds will fly so high. This is so beautiful .
People around me seems so merry, I think my happiness is passing by to them.
You're perfect, not cause things you do...
My heart accelerates when I'm thinking of you
Yeah, you really made it in that escalator in the first time I saw you.
I felt so confused and lost
I felt myself screamming inside,
and everyone that before I thought were nice, they became ugly and dull
I wish we could keep in touch, then I got a pen and a paper.
You were walking along, I gave you my email adress.
I'm sure you thought I was little bit  mad .
but we think it was funny
We started a chat and met in the next day .
You taste like pink cloud
Your skin, kiss, hair, our groove .
Your mouth on my neck,
my favorite smell .
You, me and your seduction art .
In the cine, I wish I glued our bodies and made only one soul
I can't even breath. I can't even dream about us.. these thoughts make me up .

we could be something else.
I miss you, and I'm not sure I'll meet you again..
I'm afraid of escalator . 

(Raisa Huang)

Sugar

Dear,

You're so sweet 

but inteligence makes you mad

That's why I'm so normal !

(Raisa Huang)

Little star

She . . .

can feel him there and that
really disturbs her .
Then, she seeks for a past eraser
and couldn't find out .
Because past's what made her like this .
She doesn't look change ,
she doesn't look to be who was time before felt in love with him.
or felt in love alone about him .
she couldn't shake hands bcause she put it on fire many times .
was really safe with that stupid one .
so safe that now she wishes, she couldn't met him in life.
before it was not calm, but sure it was really good, much better .
the problem with love is not what you feel .
it's what another will feel about you .
and it's a bad feeling, that makes you feel like a shit or less than it .
Now she is searching for some fun .
she is trying to find it in cups, herbs, pills and parties full of those things . Just for minuts, hours... sometimes days she's feeling a great happiness .
and when it's passing by, she wishes she couldn't wake up tomorrow . .
if she won't see him on her side, nothing matter .
People uses to say, ' she is enjoying sadness' . but they don't really care abt know her inside,
the pain she is carrying on .
Sad inside, happy out .
doesn't like to answer .
doesn't like to ask ..
preffers it like it's going .
life is never up then down .
always the same . .
always sad, always bad .

(Raisa Huang)

Mixed up, confused . .

-
Heart, hammer, hair, color, tree, red, green, down, up, sad, unhappy, up, but not happy, kids, clothes, train station, rain, summer, pet, love, passion, hate, God, Allah, sweet, bitter, umbrella, cell phone, cam, eraser.

Everything you need is inside you ! 

(Raisa Huang)

Lost, sugar, winter, sun, holiday . Heart and hammer .

Without you my heart is lost
yes, I'm feeling lost
when I miss you I cannot even think ..
or I can just think, think about how much my life depends of you beside me .
Dear my heart is broken because I'm not meeting you.
Yes, I can feel you here.
But I miss to hear your voice and smell you, feel you warm me with your sweet hug . kiss on your lips . . and taste your mouth .
don't think I'm a cheap romantic . my love for you is true !
I cannot describe it with my little words . sorry!
But I'm feeling a kind of pain, that is worst than every other pain you can feel .
it's inside, I can't remove it . maybe I won't feel it if  I put out my heart, but I cannot and I don't wanna do it because my heart belongs you, ONLY YOU ♥

(Raisa Huang)

Embarassed

I was supposed to stay only with you
now I'm not too sure .
Both say I should choose
I feel confused, it's like a shot in the dark
Get away, get away, do not get away
I need every to have a complete soulmate
Perfectest fake, perfectest boy. Perfectest rascal
So much better if i could mix up all you to make my ideal match.

Time zone .
Yaah, I have attention in night.
I have callings in the day
And sex and fun on weekends
Sometimes drugs when I'm with friends
But what is girl's need ? wooooaaah
a Ra, Ras, Rascaaal .
A rascal that loves us like had found in a fairy tale
Who will take off our particular infinit, try to
disable our mind and make us lie about orgasm
It's a opinion about the climax of the perfect life
Yaaaah, They will enter in our head
They can change our worlds.. They will know about our planets

and make us say mad words
They will bite our mood when say we're bitch like it's a bad thing
Will eat our movies like eating a happy meal, what's suprise ?
Little girl's heat, drop it on the floor, break and make it a step
Just to laugh with man friends while drink beer and reppairs another skirts
I donno what to do, We girls got a such mixed up life
That make us have a complexed mind.
Dear God, don't think we're unkind
and give us beauty, but bless our ingenuity
'Cause what is inside is more important than what's out .

(Raisa Huang)

am I 5 ?

He's right,

but he has to know

it's abt my own life .

If I don't drop,

how can I grow up ?

(Raisa Huang)

Don't get me

I'm not my clothes

Not my food, not yours .

I'm not a plastic bag,. I just like the way I dress .

I'm not what you can see outside

I'm mine, my mind .

My head inside.

(Raisa Huang)

Musical collapse

She is not searching for fame
She is just different .
She is not different cause
she's in this world .
She is in this world just
cause she is talented
I found a musical fight
it's like my mind can understand words
and people's mind doesn't get
things like mine .
I found a reason to get cold
otherwise i won't stay alive
There's a mind, words flying into my head .

(Raisa Huang)

Falling in love .

i'm selfish, I got bad manners,
I don't understand adult minds.
To say the truth I don't wanna do .
if it's childish then i wanna
keep my small kid inside
That's all just for now
just crisis 'cause my age
soon it will pass by .

Tard?
twat?
lazy?
what more... ?
sentimental ?

this way they will call me
but that's not my name
and i won't give a shit abt anything !


(Raisa Huang)

My nicest thing

I am really strange, not unlike

tired of life

Is this the end of my happy start ?

my intelligence doesn't compensates my poor beauty

People thinks I should stay in the zoo or any exposure of

cutest croked toys .

possibly it is my white skin with freckles and my way to say .
I don't know to communicate
I'm really tired about see the sun appears even I did not sleep

I just want what is far. I want the impossible!

My confused mind has embarassed thoughts that makes me go insane

All these voices say that I do not stand to hear.

it makes me cry and scream inside

my heart wants to stop, but all my blood insists to run by my veins as if nothing was happening outside.

as soon as like I got some trouble I just have to throw away my life

My favorite places do not exist .

I wish you'd make me very very happy when I was upset

I wanted you see your favorite smile come out from my face

I did not wish that you loved me. Just had seen you were the most important to me

I can see everything I need in your eyes, it's called LOVE .

All I know is that you're precious even you're in another side of world .

So I unlearn with you . . .

I cannot be alone,

I cannot see the light,.

I cannot be alone in darkness .

in the midst of so many fine words the one that I can write is your name

It's Helvin

and I know that you love me, because you say in nicest words .

(Raisa Huang)

away

I should go back and say that I regretted but my satisfaction in saying that you can't hear.

Maybe you're able to hear if it doesn't look so shrewd and honest.

No babe! I don't hand so easily.

I feel lost in the midst of my pillows and teddy bear. And the day comes through the window sometimes I can see

Pretend I be happy to see you feel under.

And the game is mine. I control the parts

Thus I feel strong and capable of living

Promises of better days are far from me

I create and undo the plans.

Recreate the plans with you and replace you with a different copy, less important.

Everyone think I'm wrong, but I may feel worse than

If you yield I could always be

Ve just come so far you have

Sometimes the time seems to stop, while all are rushed

Everything grows and everything dies. And all lights. That both shines blind.

You don't know about love

You like the conquest that made you stand out. You don't imagine that this would be the end

Oh, babe! Close to you I was not illuminated. I needed also shine

This is possible when I'm alone in my dreams, then I can go in different places and not remember you.

For insomniacs not turn on night. And I don't know more where I was.

One theory is not worth a life.

I feel dead when I challenge my wishes

I see you near me when the sun does not appear

Sometimes I prefer to live, sometimes I love you and I think about later.

It's when I feel fragile

I call at dawn for someone who wants me well

He is far from what you look like to be.

(Raisa Huang)

Painfull part of love

I urge you not to go away

but if you go I will not want you back.

Actually I'm never without smiling but I feel hurt inside.

I create expectations, you kill my imagination

If carnival in Bahia you would be with 30 people and still be somewhat

I will keep you in my mind forever

and I will love you as the sky

I will love you as my heart can

we will sleep without nay dress

I forget my name, address and telephone

You make me feel scared to live.

everything seems more dangerous than the real.

(Raisa Huang)

Bloody

Hanging slowly

feeling the peculiar taste of death.

Delighting in the liquid that comes out of your veins

by sliding his body tired and hurt

you think you are free, think overcame their fears

and restless sleep is safe in his corner with his favorite teddy bear

tries to talk to him, hopes he speaks

understand what he says, but do not hear

(Raisa Huang)

Sold

I'm not in this world

maybe I'm in the place you don't know. maybe I don't know myself

maybe we're together or not.

I'll meet you and you won't see me cause I'll be not your more important thing.

maybe you will be away in your minds searching some fun.

I'm not your fun

I'm your death coming alive killing by heart. I'm your painful part.

I keep me in your dreams hurting you every night and you can't avoid

I was born to be your worst nightmare, your fear.

I don't have a place beside God

(Raisa Huang)

Samantha

Cortava-se para não sentir dor

O sangue escorria, ela perdia o sono

Chorava todo o tempo porque vivia sonhando

Trancava-se sempre no seu mundinho escuro

Preferia dividir sua tristeza com seus inimigos imaginários

Por detrás da maquiagem escondia-se o pavor

Não vivia a vida, só imaginava

Gritava ao deparar-se com a loucura

Não sabia como a vida era nem que cor o mundo tinha

Acostumou-se a ser sempre triste

Pensava ter perdido o mais importante e o resto era dor inventada

(Raisa Huang)

Bailarinas

Bailarinas terçam

Pés como mandarins

Terçam espadas ao lutar.

Fazem evoluçoes sem ferir

Nada mais que o ar.

Nessa disputa

não matam ninguém

não afetam nada

Posto que não

são guerreiros

mas somente

Belas fadas.